Javi-Here

Javi, let me boast crawfish, clams, meat, sushi at the buffet I'm eating! I usually eat with friends, but it's taken me a bit to find the right Buffet friend in Michigan. But I do like sharing my love of food, so you get to see it!:

https://photos.app.goo.gl/wBgHnNeeDBVPMRcSA

Edit: someone just mistaken me for one of the Asian buffet workers and asked if I can refill the ranch. If I knew how, I would. 😭 I told her that I didn't work here, and she was so embarrassed and kept saying sorry, and I said it was fine and it's understandable because I'm asian dressed up in Black because I just came out of an interview, LOL

Every time I think I'm looking pretty Sharp, I get mistaken for either a middle schooler in uniform or a worker at an Asian restaurant lol

^ Old but one of the best things on the interwebs, among many other hilarious videos

A hard-working cat that accidentally presses on light mode

Hey, javi. You know what really frustrates me? WHEN I MAKE A REALLY BIG MISTAKE WITHOUT CONSIDERING DIFFERENT POSSIBILITIES. I usually do that all the time. I like to think I'm very good at that. Being a thinker... But I have found myself NOT HAVING ENOUGH TIME. THAT'S A PROBLEM. SO I'VE JUST BEEN RUSHING FORWARD. AS A RESULT, I LOST MYSELF OUT OF MY CAR AND OUT OF THE OFFICE TWICE RECENTLY. I accumulated about three jobs. So I work all weekdays. Sometimes about 12 hours a day. And I make mistakes when I'm being rushed. Because naturally, when I get home, I have to walk my dog, make dinner, make sure everything is good. Clean. I really would absolutely despise my life if the home that I go to is not clean. So that takes time... I'm making money, but at what cost? Lol.

For example, my three jobs is about 15 hours market interning mostly in person but a little bit remote hybrid for a junk removal company. The other job is working about 28 hours hybrid writing tutoring for a local community college. And the third job is a job that's sort of popped up after the previous Christian College director caught fired and I was rehired as a remote tutor (I asked for the job back because I originally quit it because I despise the previous director so much because he didn't care for students. The person who was offered the new director position was essentially the person under him, but she didn't have as much of a backbone sometimes either). I work about 10 hours remotely tutoring their students. That job was convenient because I get paid 10 hours per week for $25 an hour whether I have students attitude or not. That's paid through a non-profit educational grant through trio. However, I go through a lot of weird bureaucracy going through Spring Hill college, the Christian school, so I'm not the biggest fan of it. I can also definitely tell that this job, their position, the whole program seems to be on Rocky legs. Students aren't coming in for tutoring as much, and the office is just generally depressing.

And the company that I market intern for doesn't know what they want a lot. Good people, but doesn't change the fact that they don't know what they want. As a result, there is seemingly only one job, the Community College writing tutor job, that I enjoy. But I did put that into my finances and realize that that's very little money to live off of. So for now, I'm doing a lot of work with these three jobs to sort of prepare for NOT having them because the two other jobs are unpredictable. I was thinking, "well, I can suffer now a bit because those jobs will disappear later." I don't think that's a horrible theory..

BUT THEN I MADE SUCH AN ANNOYING MEDIAL MISTAKE TO ME, BUT IT'S SO BIG TO ME. I FINALLY HAD SOME TIME FOR ONCE TODAY BY LEAVING WORK AROUND 5:15 P.M. AFTER ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE SPONTANEOUS WRITING TUTORING APPOINTMENTS HYBRID. I WAS AT MY OTHER WORKPLACE, SO YEAH, I'M JUGGLING BEING INTO WORKPLACES AT ONCE BASICALLY. AND I DECIDE THAT IT WOULD BE FUN TO CHECK OUT A NEW ASIAN STORE. I WAS APPROVED FOR EBT/FOODSTAMPS WHEN I WAS A POOR STUDENT, AND SINCE IT HAD NOT RUN OUT YET, I WAS THINKING AFTER MONTHS OF NOT BEING ABLE TO VISIT IN ASIAN STORE TO GO GET SOME ASIAN SNACKS AND SOME VEGETABLES TO MAKE SOME HOMEMADE FOOD WITH. I EVEN ORDERED FROM THEIR RESTAURANT IN THE BACK FOR SOME NOODLE SOUP TO MAKE THE MISERY/OVERWORK LESS PAINFUL! IT FELT LIKE A SORT OF PRIZE FOR WORKING SO HARD, AND WHEN I BRING THE FULL BASKET TO THE COUNTER, I TELL THE GIRL, WHO ALREADY DOESN'T HAVE THE GREATEST CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE AND IS GENERALLY INDIFFERENT, THAT THE GROCERIES CAN BE PUT ON EBT, AND WHATEVER IS LEFT COULD BE PUT ON MY CREDIT CARD- "oh, we don't take ebt." Well, this was my mistake. I said "oh, sorry. I didn't know you didn't take EBT..." She then proceeds to START SCANNING MY ITEMS. It was my mistake, but upon telling someone who initially thought a certain payment system would work that their payment system wouldn't work.. why would you continue to go ahead and scan the items? She was already scanning them! I repeated again "it's kind of bad that you don't take ebt. I had no idea." She continued to scan. I know she knew english. So I essentially paid around $60 (I was able to take the more expensive bones / meat out of the basket before she finished scanning. I told her "I'm going to return this. It's expensive." And she didn't have a response. She just kept scanning). And I made sure not to be unbearably passive aggressive about it. I made sure to show my direct shock that they didn't take EBT, which was essentially free governmental funds. I was prepared to pay the hot foods with credit card, because EBT doesn't pay for hot foods. But upon her revealing that a huge chunk of the items I wanted to be paid with a certain card was rejected and she proceeded to keep going.. I felt embarrassed about telling her to stop and to unscan everything. But I realized that I should have told her to stop because of the misunderstanding (on my side, and then on HER side, to stop the process):

"sorry, I'm so used to Asian stores taking EBT that I thought you all did. I should have called to double-check before I tried to buy these items with the card. I'll just buy this somewhere else that does take ebt. Can you unscan the items you already did? I'll still pay for the hot foods with my credit card." I didn't say that. I was in shock and was embarrassed to tell her to undo something she was already doing, which might seem troublesome because she was already frowning and shouting back at her parents at the store like she was still in the midst of her attitude stage with them. I've been there ... But my money is my money and it's important to show her that she can get something wrong. Instead, I stayed quiet, and I'm out about $60 that I could have had paid by a government card. And sometimes, it's difficult to use up my EBT funds. Because after all.. I have so little time, and even during the weekends, I'm attempted to sleep, not go to the grocery store. Or I'm attempting to play with my dog, because I haven't seen him in forever. And after getting into my car and using up those funds, I felt terrible and decided to be on my phone and be productive in different ways. And now it's about 9:30 p.m., and I haven't come home yet. I'm still in the parking lot of that shop because I'm attempting to be productive and feel better / compensate for that mistake.. BUT WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING IS SHIFTING MY LIFE / ENVIRONMENT SO THAT I'M NOT CONSTANTLY RUSHING, HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO REFLECT LIKE I USUALLY DO WHICH I ENJOY HAVING.. TIME! I feel it's small stuff like this that isn't just oh, I wasn't able to use the card I wanted. It's a relevation of what's going on in my life. I think as I slowly do more hybrid work for that junk removal company that I market for, especially as the winter comes by or so and they don't have as many jobs, I can ask to do my work hybrid. They did say that after about 4 to 6 months (I started around August 1st), they can trust me to go hybrid. Well, starting the next year around January 2023, I can ask if I can do one of my days hybrid because I essentially drive to the office.. to do work that I could have done at home. I my mental health really does do better at home. Cuz I can pet my dog with my feet, I can eat the food I want. I'm constantly starving at work. I know work is important, but I can't leave to eat anything. I hear the word gossip from the office that I don't care much for. I can hear that gossip in the other two days that I come to work in person. Can't I have a day where I can just concentrate on some work? Even my boss wants to do hybrid, but he says he can't because his wife would get jealous that she has to go to work, because she works in the same business, and he doesn't. In the end, hybrid can help many people! We just don't do it because other people would get jealous? That's not a good reasoning. I should probably go ahead and start the example. And have he rejects it, I can bring up that I did have the conversation, when I had the bandwidth/brain space, to request for hybrid, and he said that they would let me go hybrid for the start of 4 to 6 months after. If he wants to let me go, on to the next job.

There was a business internship that I was interested in but with questioning whether I should sign up for it because I would feel bad about leaving the junk removal company.. but they're unorganized and they don't know what they want. I have to keep moving around. Otherwise I'll just stay miserable with so little time. It won't change. And I don't think getting a PhD of communications, although that might be in the cards in the future.. is the SOLUTION. It's just a distraction. I have a job that I enjoy, which is writing tutoring. I have to find something that fits well with it that I enjoy. And that's it. If I can, keep expenses low. Have enough time so you're not spending a lot of money on stuff so you feel less miserable with the little time that you have! I would love a three day weekend. Many people do. And one of the main reasons people well shut others down about it is that they say other people won't approve it. Not that it's not a good idea. There's my general rent. I paid for extra groceries I did not have to with my own credit card because I didn't have enough time to think and not enough confidence to totally reject her, which is honestly what she needs a bit! And I should FIGHT FOR MORE TIME FOR MYSELF, OTHERWISE, I'M LETTING THE JOB GO! I CAN PULL DOWN MY EXPENSES BY A LOT TO SURVIVE OFF OF WHAT I HAVE. AND THE WRITING TUTOR JOB REDUCES HOURS IN THE SUMMER, BUT I CAN KEEP SIGNING UP FOR SUMMER INTERNSHIPS. IN THE END, I DON'T EVEN WANT A FULL-TIME JOB MUCH. ALL I KNOW IS THAT HAVING TOO LITTLE TIME IS WORSE THAN HAVING TOO MUCH TIME. 👿😾😡😠🤬🗯️👺👺👺👺😤

JAVI HAVE YOU WATCHED DEMON SLAYER YET

RANT AHEAD:

Javi! Sorry for late response. I'm still juggling my accursed doctorate plus a graduate assistantship that is pure shit and full of such socially awkward people that I I'm honestly starting to question whether instructional designers are just plain socially awkward people who are quite passive aggressive sometimes. I think the great ones are great, but oh my God. Essentially, the graduate assistantship at my university that pays the highest stipend for general majors is the innovation learning center, and... I feel underutilized as a graduate assistant. When I bring this up to them, that I'm interested in doing more, they just sort of ignore me. Not even say no. They just ignore me. I bring it up again, because you can't just let concerns just float there. At least say no. I wasn't thinking it was a flu, but I was giving them a chance to actually give a response, and they ignore me again. I find that the graduate assistants don't like their job so much, but they don't necessarily tell the bosses. I explain to the bosses that there seems to be a graduate assistant and staff inconsistency of communication, and of course, they're surprise, but nothing is done about it. I said I'm open to doing things that can help the lab, anything, it really seems like they're not open to it. It's just that feeling of not looking at you, seeming like if there are just ideas that they have, it's just a big problem. And yet they don't say it, I have to infer it. Absolutely despise that in any workplace. That they are so passive aggressive they cannot even freaking say it and you have to infer it?! That's just pure crap. So I am attempting to look around for other graduate citizenships in this university, but they are honestly scarce right now because we're sort of in the middle of semester. So I'm feeling a little depressed about it, and of course, my messages have stacked up, and I'm just going to ramp around the interwebs.

Also, especially now that I feel I'm stuck with a job that I don't actually like, I guess I'm not actually stuck stuck? I have some savings and I could quit that graduate assistantship, but I don't want to dip too much into savings. I just got hired As a tutor for another local college, but that doesn't pay the higher amount of rent that this new apartment is because I could not seem to find a stable roommate when I first got here for the first five or so months! I literally moved like five times and tried five different roommates from different demographics, different types of people, socioeconomic statuses, some had dogs some didn't, etc. And they all were either sleazy, didn't tell the truth, tried to add extra things to the lease, etc. It's these moments where it really is important to find decent shelter. I remember you complaining about just liking UPS and just feeling miserable. Well, I've been in this graduate assistantship where I don't feel I connect to my peers (We just had a farewell potluck for two graduate assistantships that are leaving, and I literally Seth on a table with the IT specialist and barely had a conversation with him or anybody else because everybody was just awkward. IF ONE COULD CONSIDER ME AWKWARD, THEY'RE LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES MY AWKWARD. THEY WON'T EVEN, IN MY OPINION, ATTEMPT. I feel the issue is not being open enough to the different point of view. I've tried to talk to them, but they don't seem to oblige. What's stopping them from attempting to understand my point of view about things? Even when we're just talking about non-essential stuff. They like small topping gossiping, but if I try to get into the conversation, they don't even respond. I don't like that. It makes no sense! I don't think I should get even used to or even oblige with this type of behavior or a pattern because this, to me, is not the proper way to have a professional workforce that can actually communicate with people! There's so many things wrong with this workplace that I really question how long I can survive it, even though the graduate assistantship pays for my tuition. I current the numbers, and I realized that if I can keep that other recent job that I received for tutoring, I can still make it by and save a bit if another graduate citizenship that pays practically pennies comes along but at least pays my graduate tuition. Not sure if my doctor advisor is going to let me take on a whole bunch of classes so I can finish this doctor as soon as possible, because honestly, staying in Alabama longer is just going to make me lose money, safety, My social skills, my sanity, and honestly - threatens my work ethic to seemingly attempt to assimilate to survive here job-wise?? I don't think they're all like that, but it really feels like a lot of them are like that. I don't want to have to try all of Alabama just to try to find the stuff that fits with me. I think I'm seeing enough of this bullshit.

I was thinking that if it really doesn't work out, I could just seek a full-time job and then the next moment that my lease ends at this apartment, which is around October 2023 - which if I survived to that point, There's a chance that I would simply just finish out my doctorate at that point... I could hypothetically give up on the doctor and just go up north near Minnesota/Midwest which is closer to Canada. One person in the family might as well tackle the land of the snow and attempted free healthcare!

Anyways, let's where I'm at currently. Doing my best not to become totally brain dead at work because I feel like they expect 2% of me while also sort of implying that I can do homework at the office if I finish my work. But my work is so freaking rudimentary and also somewhat Vega the same time while my co-workers are such crap conversationalist who don't barely assist other than complain and then if I reciprocate the complaining or concern and want to address some problem solving steps, that's when they clam up.. What's the point of complaining if you're not going to attempt to do something about it?! If you hate this place so much, just leave! Already three of them are about to leave. I somewhat feel guilty about wanting to leave as soon as I can because they're down to small numbers for graduate assistance, but they can't even utilize it. I feel I should not feel bad for them and I should leave any moment now. Whether you're going to do, force me to stay? This has taught me all the wrongs of the working system. All I can say is PEOPLE CAN DO BETTER. THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT, BUT THEY HAVE TO ATTEMPT. If I was the boss, I would least pull these complaints or concerned somewhere... If there are. Slowly one by one. They even address it there needs to be a quality control person. For the love of God! Where is this all going?!

Anyways, there's my rant. Feel free to rant about whatever's going on at your workplace. You know you always get that seasonal rant from me. How are you and the family, and your artwork! You liking your current job? It dearly want it to be better than UPS for you!